Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Silence. I need some.

The world is too much with us: late and soon,

I think that's Emily Dickenson.  No, wait.  It's Wordsworth.  That's what Google is for, right?  Eliminating the need for rumination, filling the void of thought with e-certainty, putting the facts at our fingertips.  In .003 seconds or less.

Been feeling a little overwhelmed lately.   A little frantic.  Unable to concentrate.  Seeking, seeking, seeking.  Always seeking.

Google is my enabler.  Twitter, Facebook and the Elvis Costello Fan Forum as well.  Just learned via Twitter that the amount of data shared online per week tops what the Hubble telescope collected in 20 freaking years.  Don't need to actually read the article - the headline says it all.  I never have one web page up anymore.  It's always 4.  Or 6.  Or 8.  And I never finish reading one before I jump to the next.

Everything is so instant and available that it lacks urgency, yet still commands attention.  Bits want bits, I suppose.  Don't quote me.

So, I'm taking a vacation I mean, pledge.  No more than two pages up at a time. Facebook once a day.  More blogging, less drowning in a tidal wave of trivia.  I don't need to know anything else about Kim Kardashian.  I don't need to compare ways to overwinter geraniums, I need to do something with the damn things before the frost gets them. 

Back to meditating also, before the brutal stew of thoughts gets wound too tight.  Practicing some MINDFULNESS, which I now think I have a sense of - it was just a stupid flavor-of-the-week word that I failed for years to get the gist of.  This may be the step backward right before the breakthrough.  I hope so.  I've been drowning My Little Voice for years.  Years.  Really!  Years and years and years I've been turning the music up, the tv on, grabbing a book, starting a conversation (or a fight), anything but listening to myself, because myself was not something worth listening to, if you follow me.

So, this begins a Pledge of Self-Care.  I will walk, I will do my morning pages, I will meditate.

Hope to see you soon, Unknown Reader(s)! 

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