I almost OD'd on soccer this weekend

but damn, it was fun.

First up, Josie's game Saturday morning. There is a 100% chance of rain and we have not won a game or even scored this season. Fortunately, Jos has eaten her Wheaties and she scores 6 goals. 6! That's *two* hat tricks! From my little dilettante!

This is the part where I say I taught her everything she knows.

Next up: Mostest (a/k/a Clint Dempsey) and Fulham fighting a relegation battle against Reading, who annoy me with their striped shirts. Fulham lost but Mostest looked pretty good. And he played well, too. Ba-dump-bump.

Call me crazy, but Columbus Crew at Real Salt Lake was my evening's marquee match. The Crew just look sharp this year. Joe Jackson sharp. Two random observations: Jeff Cunningham has the worst excuse for a mohawk EVER and the Crew need somebody to score goals. Hopefully, this dude will be that dude. A 0-0 tie on astroturf is ... a pretty good result, considering.

Next, the weather hit Washington. Kansas City just whooped up on D.C. in a deluge (a theme for east coast soccer this weekend), 4-2. Is D.C. the new Crew? Eddie Johnson, in his first game of the season, has half of his 2006 goals. Not that that's anything to brag about, being 1 in '07 and 2 in '06. Edster's been in a little bit of a slump. Took a peek at the Revs/Toronto game (a 4-0 beatdown), and tried to get through the first half of Dynamo/Chivas (1-0), but my mental game had hit the wall by then. And this was just Saturday. !

It's a good thing it rained/snowed/sleeted. I had an excuse to stay in and watch more on Sunday.

So, first it was this Chelsea/Blackburn semifinal thing for one of the gazillion competitions those pissy Englishters have. This was the F.A. Cup, which is similar to the U.S. Open Cup in that it's open to any team in the respective country. No, not really - that was just to make the Englishsters groan. We (Austin and I) were rooting for Blackburn. We like underdogs and we hate Chelsea, at least as much as we can hate without really being interested at all. Blackburn gave 'em hell, but pulled up short in overtime. We were hoping there would be fisticuffs, like after the Carling Cup (they have an overabundance of cups in the U.K. apparently). No such luck, all huggy-kissy at the end.

Next, it was the Argentine SuperClasico between Boca Juniors and River Plate, which I always want to call River Plah-tay, because that sounds more Argentine to me. Unfortunately, it's River Plate just like dinner plate. Somebody should say something to them. My interest in this game was to take a look at the dude who might be That Dude for Columbus, Guillermo Barros Schelotto. These people take their soccer seriously. There's a fence, like chicken wire but not, surrounding the field to keep most of the shit the fans throw out. I don't think anybody sits down. Ever. The whole stadium was shaking. Boca came out strong, scoring in the 45st second (yes, second), but a second half comeback of sorts by River Plate brought things level and that's the way the cookie crumbled. Guillermo got to play 3 or 4 minutes. My only observation: he's very clean. Are his bags packed yet? The Crew need him. Like, um ... , yesterday.

The New York Red Bulls played at 3pm as well, but on effing Telefutura, which I do not get. We tune in Rapids/Fire at 8 just to keep our momentum going, but we're not really into it. Some Colorado player got redcarded early in the first half but big ups to them. They played like they had 12 guys out there. Channel surfing, I find that MSG is replaying the RBNY game! Hallelujah! What a game! The deluge/nor'easter/7th sign of the apocalypse hit hard on East Rutherford, N.J., but the Red Bulls came out to play. Mathis is back. And Altidore - that kid's going places. Loved his diving goal celebration. Double-loved Mathis joining him in it.